Today was my birthday. Fun, right? One of the first things I like to Not do on my birthday, is weigh-in at Weight Watchers.
It just feels like such a bummer. Such an injustice from the Birthday Gods.
But I psyched myself up for it anyway, --and was even driving there in my slip and stockings (remember, I can't wear much), when I decided ~ Forget it! It's my Birthday and I'm taking the day off!
My decision came, coincidentally, right about the time I was in front of McDonalds. (And herein comes the sick puppy part--)
Well first let me tell you (actually they would call this 'confession' in some religions) --
--I've been a very bad girl.
So the deal is, in my weigh-in for the last few months, I don't have breakfast before I go. I'm just too distraught to put any ounces in--before they have the chance to get back out--ahead of my weigh-ins.
What that has done, is make me soo starving by the time I get weighed. And since everyone knows the hour after a weigh-in is like, total party time - and since there is a McDonalds on the way home from my weigh-ins - I have taken to stopping there for a large diet coke and cinnamelts.
I know!!
It's awful, isn't it?!
It's like, something I never in my life would do. You know, get a coke first thing in the morning, or have cinnamelts instead of six Kashi almonds and a slice of cheese (or something).
It's insane! It's madness! It's craziness!
It's Heaven.
And then, one morning in drive-through-- . . . ('cause I never go inside) (I have like, nothing on, --remember?) (and heaven help me if I ever get in an accident in front of the Mcdonalds. They are Not getting me out of that car. I don't care if they use the jaws of life on me) . . . --they accidentally gave me hot cakes as well!
Oh my heck! Oh my gosh!
Yummo times four!
It's a breakfast Carb'avors like me can only dream of! And is it such a sin now, really, to order diet coke, cinnamelts, and hot cakes . . . and just like, white flour and refined sugar PigOut? They're not, super sized or anything.
Oh yeah. It's unhealthy.
And anyways you're not the Boss of me.
Heck, at home I even cut my fat-free milk with water! Blaaaa! I deserve a cinnamelt a week.
Besides, I'm not a machine, --I'm a real person, --with real feelings . . . and it's my birthday.
Leave me alone.
2 comments:
Happy Birthday! You diet like me. You are so stinkin' funny! My new favorite blog hands down.
Happy Birthday my friend! It's ok to carbo-load on your birthday, at least that's what I tell myself.
I'm glad you enjoyed those hotcakes! Next time come over to my house and I will make you the best sour cream pancakes, way worth the calories.
I have to tell you that I had the same exact weigh in strategy when I was pregnant. I would go in the morning, wearing shorts, no breakfast and no liquid! (I didn't want to hear about it from my doctor.) I see this is a common pratice when there's a scale involved, pregnant or not.
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