Pride Full

You may or may not know, --but my surgery 'hole' kept leaking for quite awhile. And probably because it remained so moist - it was also having a hard time closing up.

Kinda gross. Yeah.

Anyhow, next thing I knew this like, protrusion-type thing, fleshy, nickle-sized, comes poking out, and sits right along my surgical slice line.
Things are getting weirder . . . and there was no way any healing and closing up was going to happen with that baby there.
I go to see Doc.


In two seconds he says, "Oh! Yeah, --you have a Proud Flesh. No biggy." A Proud Flesh?

And he sets about to slicing it off and digging it out (and no - that did not feel good) (and thank goodness I could not see, because it did not feel pretty either) (and I hate it when someone keeps asking you "are you alright?" when you are not alright) (What? I should say - "Oh yes, fine. I've seen more slicing at a deli-convention" ???) ~~Finished, he tells me the draining will stop soon . . and the site will finally start sealing-up as well. (Yippee!)



First thing I do when I get home is Google 'proud flesh' -- and guess what?? Every veterinary medicine site in the World Wide Web comes up! I kid you not -- there is not a human in the whole of cyberspace--I guess--that has ever developed a 'proud flesh'. Yup. It's just me and the animals. Me and the swine. Me and the cattle. Me and the stallions.

How's that supposed to make a girl feel, huh???!!!

Google examples.   From Horse Rider, and Amp magazines:

"Your horse has a wound that just won't heal. What proud flesh is and how to prevent it."

"This proud flesh is a disfiguring protrusion from the limb of the horse and is accompanied by inflammation and can significantly lower the abilities and aesthetics, as well as the value of the horse."

" . . 'Proud Flesh' is a German rock band from the early Krautrock era."

". . . 'proud flesh' is a disfiguring protrusion from the limb of the horse and ... an unsightly accumulation of granulation tissue resulting from poor wound healing, is commonly removed surgically (which produces additional scarring) or through various caustic solution treatments (which can eat into the skin and surrounding area, also leaving scarring). Typically, the hair that re-grows over the wound looses its pigment and the hair that grows back is white in color."



Great -- And now I gotta have a hairy back too?!   (ya, alright - hairier than already???)

And of course I don't even get my proud flesh on a limb, like a normal horse would. No. Mine has to grow out of my back. Like a mutant.

(PS - I threw in the rock band definition just to make me feel better. It was the only one that didn't make me feel like a cow.)


Ah geez.
Anyhow. Now this last week, proud flesh free and proud of it, I've got this lump under my skin that won't go away. I saw it before - but I was still swollen. Now I'm way less swollen - but it's still there.

I ask Hubby after I come out of the shower, "see this lump here?"   (What lump? Where? Which one? The poor man is looking at my hiny and just above it . . and let me tell you - that's a lumpy area altogether. What the heck is he going to say that doesn't get him in trouble? I can't see his face, --but I imagine little beads of sweat are breaking out on his forehead.) So I point it out impatiently, "right here! --at the scar . . ."

And sure enough - I have this crazy like, folded over muscle, or tissue, or who knows what - sitting just under the skin. It's like a two inch area, and I don't like it! It's not right! And clearly not as proud, or brave, or whatever the heck you want to call it as my other thingy was, that came right out and showed itself.

Now I don't know what Doc is going to do about this new, less-prideful, but still like, in-your-face thingy. But I'm praying he won't just tell me it's fine, or it's nothing because it feels way weird, and 'cause it's going to totally blow my bikini line if it stays through the summer.

Like they always say, --if you have your health (and your bikini line) --you have everything.


One thing for sure I can tell you, this new thingy -- I refuse to Google it.
And if muscle lumps under the flesh, by scar tissue, only happen to monkeys and giant moths? ---so be it.

I will just have to chalk it up to experience.
Well -
Experience,
. . . and nuclear spills.